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TEACHERS: Mr. Nicky performs school assemblies and workshops across the country, helping your classes write their own educational parodies! These programs meet state learning standards, and they're tons of fun! Please send an e-mail to mrnickychicago@gmail.com for full information. (Students will not receive a response, but thank you for your support. Please tell your teachers to e-mail Mr. Nicky!) Lesson on Ancient China by Mr. Nicky To the tune of "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke feat. Pharrell and T.I. (This is Ancient China . . . hey hey hey) "China's Sorrow" is the Huang He That river's yellow, and when it floods it kills and causes famine but makes such fertile farmland with that North China Plain loess The ancient towns of Shang were once production centers Those rulers in Anyang prayed to their dead ancestors making the future known by cracking Oracle Bones, I have few records to go by but one Shang ruler's name was Fu Hao Wife of the Shang king His name was Wu Ding Look in her tomb She ruled her own town And led some armies Her ruling family is The Shang Dynasty Read these cracked lines on these burnt sheep bones To make decisions Its writing mentions Lady Fu Hao Her ruling family's The Shang Dynasty In the Huang He Valley When the Dynasty of Shang was defeated by Wuwang by the Mandate of Heaven China started its Classic Age! Such creativity the most that been seen in Chinese history Okay, the Duke of Zhou was putting down rebellions He let his nephew grow but could have easily killed him The Zhou made iron weapons Their coins were being accepted It made trade more effective They ran their government like Fu Hao Wife of the Shang king His name was Wu Ding Look in her tomb She ruled her own town and led some armies her ruling family is the Shang Dynasty Read these cracked lines on these burnt sheep bones to make decisions Its writing mentions Lady Fu Hao Her ruling family is the Shang Dynasty in the Huang He Valley In the Zhou Dynasty during the Warring States Period they were trying to see how to rule wisely, Kong Fu Zi a.k.a. Confucius said the key to happiness and prosperity was education, then Lao Zi said Daoism showed The Way to be It's the "Hundred Schools" of Philosophy Then look out for Ying Zheng cause he took the throne for the Qin Dynasty That 13 year-old changed names and he was the 1st Grand Emperor, Shihuangdi He standardized the writing Built the Great Wall of China His legalism made him enemies, is that why he had a terra-cotta army that would guard him when he died? When he died, Liu Pang Rose up and led the Han They called him Gao Zu He defeated Hsiang Yu Then he started to rule, hey . . . Emperor Wudi based government on Confucius Grew the bureaucracy, they took exams for service The Han kept on advancing In science and mathematics made paper, seismographs, and expanded language, saying Fu Hao Wife of the Shang king His name was Wu Ding Look in her tomb She ruled her own town And led some armies Her ruling family is The Shang Dynasty Read these cracked lines on these burnt sheep bones to make decisions Its writing mentions Lady Fu Hao Her ruling family is the Shang Dynasty in the Huang He Valley (This is Ancient China . . . hey hey hey)